when his yellowed eyes
looked into mine
and he pleaded
begged me
not to let him die
he didn't want to
it ripped my heart in two
i told him that we were trying
trying so very hard
doing every single possible thing
he just kept asking
he knew
like we all did
how sick he really was
that he wasn't ever leaving
then the blood started
it poured out of his rectum
it poured out of his mouth
and we couldn't see the origin
not until they brought in the scope
even the gastric expert gasped
when he saw the level of damage
no explanation of just how
we kept trying anyway
he begged us still
after the breathing tube
was inserted
he mouthed the words
don't let me die
i don't want to die
he was already so sick
weeks before the bleeding started
his organs had given up
no candidate for surgery
emergency or not
i left that morning knowing
as we all did to be honest
that he was going to die quite soon
within a matter of hours
maybe less actually
we went home when the others came
secretly relieved for the change of shift
unable to watch our failure
our chance to get away
from the jaundiced
once blue eyes
don't let me die
nobody ever told him we wouldn't
we knew we were delaying the inevitable
holding the reaper at bay
we just kept saying
we're trying
and we were

August 4th,2008

eric was only 24 years old....

by Indiscreet Episode

Comments (2)

L, how wonderful to see you posting again. Sweetheart this is utterly, utterly heartbreaking and I know it comes from the bottom of your heart and through tearful eyes. I know how desperately you care about those for whom you care. I am SO proud of you, and love you. Can't wait to see you soon! xxxx
Good to see you here Indiscreet, this made me cry. I could not do your job. My admiration for what you do, is beyond words. A very painful read indeed. I have a friend who's daughter is almost in this is heartbreaking for all the family but thank god for folks like you, who take care of the lost and the sick till their end. Great first, well done on everything you do. Smiling at you, tai