Eulogy Instructions

Don’t drift off into spiritual BS crap
like surfers BS-ing about the holiness of surfing.
Talk about what you admired,
and I don’t’ mean his car
and its aluminum V-6 engine
and dashboard navigation system.
Speak with emotion,
especially in a winsome way.
Raise your eyebrows.
Obviously, don’t go negative,
particularly about what a goddam control freak he was
and how he would never back down in an argument
or give you the benefit of the doubt.

by Michael Philips

Comments (3)

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I had to smile when I read this. Too bad the dead can't hear all these good things thrown like roses at a coffin. And thank God most people have the good judgment at funerals to keep their unhappy memories to themselves. I like this a lot, and its content surprised me, given what I thought might be in a poem with such a title. Good work.
This is interesting, Michael. The only things I LEARN about the person are the negative and the extraneous things! I take it as a study in irony.