Evening Wish...

Sleep, sleep, sweet baby, don't you need worries.
It is well with me--I listen to your pledge--
You said you could rest if I would not weep--
For you I wept, for you I stop my griefs...
I still remember how so happy you were
When you came home from work on that birthday eve
And found your favorite long-stemmed red roses
Were paved at your gate and all through the walkway
(The same roses now I plant at your resting place--
Which waver at night in the cold, silvery light).
How quick you, then, yielded to your instant tears--
How quicker can I now just do the likewise.
O, Sweet, while you were with me long before,
Would I have loved you even more and more!

by Chunlou Yung

Other poems of CHUNLOU YUNG (2)

Comments (1)

Gramma in the whole is perfect, only 'griefs', you wrote as pl. number, this is not countable , therefore it should be change if you like to keep 's' grief's is acceptable. You wrote this like a sonnet (14 lines) , with some rhymes although no follow the professional types, but I like it well, it's o.k. for our mother tongue language. I, myself do not knowledge quite well about the rhymes because I am not an English speaker, who pronounces incorrect sound on the position of each sentence.You might have learned the sonnets in your school/college, so that you know better than my works. Write more, my friend, you will be successful well. This one also I give you 10.