KML (April 3,1910 / Sacramento, CA)

Failing

i'm again alone
alone at last
content because
it's like the past
1000 times
i'm not surprised
never trust anyone
assume they lied

i didn't get attached
so don't mourn the lonely
i don't feel it anymore
i swear. i swore. i'm only
left to useless mind
and boring time
spent loving my
one left behind

so numb to this
i swear it won't show
no, i won't be the fool
who wanted and waited
for closeness and comfort
when she was hated

i swear, i said
i won't be left again
knew you'd strike me down
but on solitude i depend

these ripple may cascade
and take me apart
but at least one after another
no longer affect my heart

far too many times
to recall
i was left
with naught at all
helpless, so wrong
broken left
...i can't help what i expect

by Kitty Marie Lucas

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