Farewell My Love

My heart is aching, I can’t stand this pain.

Just when I thought you would go away I find out how bad you truly hurt me

Once wasn’t enough, you had to make it twice?

Oh wait; those are the only ones I actually know about…

To believe you in your lies to believe you in your deception

I was a continuous fool in trusting the words from your slanderous mouth

I gave you my heart, my body, my soul

I gave you every piece of my life

My studies, my time, my money, my house

Now where do I turn when I know it was all part of your larger plan?

What do I do when I realize I was the fool over and over again?

One time hurt like a blade through the heart

The next day you are at my door “crying” in apology

Two times I should have put my foot down

The next day you followed me to class to express your mistake and seek forgiveness

Why did I let you back in?

Why did I not have the strength to realize you would never change?

Three times the charm, so I thought, until I took you back in once again

States separate us but our hearts never saw distance

I was thrown into this whirlwind of lies, lust, and weakness

How do you admit to a dying world that you struggle the same as everyone else?

How do you witness your faith and beliefs when your sin is secretly eating away at your soul?

But you were fine, living your life for your own glory

Living your life filled with prostitutes and pigs

But why do I blame you when I must look in the mirror myself?

I find out the depth and magnitude of these cheating nights you had on me

And the wound is ripped back open just when I thought I had healed

But not anymore

Not this time around

There is no front door for you to come crying at

There is not plane ticket with your name on it awaiting your departure

There is no girl waiting to take you back into her arms after the pain you’ve caused her will affect her life forever

Farwell, my love, for the last time

I don’t regret one thing, I don’t regret one second, I don’t regret one decision

Instead, I thank you for showing me what God really has in store for me

I thank you for opening my eyes to what love really is and is not

I thank you for allowing me to open my heart no matter how bad you have trampled it in the past

A last, I am free

A last, I am able to love again

Farewell my past, farewell my dreams, farewell my love

by Elvie Diene

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