EVM (April 24,1880 (I wish) / Moscow)

Fear Of Thunderstorms

I am afraid of thunderstorms and can’t look at the lightening
And am avoiding being in thunderstorms all my life
And hide under the table when it catches me off guard
So that I won’t see all these scary blue lights
That may hit me
And I may die

When I was little I was caught by a storm in a forest
And my dad told me
Don’t stand by the trees -
When the lightening hits a tree, you will get hurt
So we stayed in the open
Surrounded by blue lights
And there was nowhere to hide...

I think this scared child
Once caught in the lightening in the middle of the forest
Was always inside of me
Ready to hide under the table at the sight of everything
That seemed too electrical...

I was scared of storms that may shake your heart, and your life and Your soul and your pride,
And your views of yourself...
But I forgot that storms can also make you clean and strong,
When you are ready...
And to avoid getting hit by the lightening
All you need to do – is just go deep inside and watch closely
What is happening with wide open eyes and wide open heart

And then it was so good
Letting a perfect storm into my life
Though a few dead trees got broken
And an old house fell apart
I got out of it so fresh, so serene and quiet
So clean and subtle...and so open
So aware of things and confident in myself
And looking forward to build a new house
On the top of the mountain, with a view on the lake...
So when a thunderstorm is coming, I will see it in all its powerful beauty
And I am so grateful to this perfect storm for making me brave...

But I won’t tell his name.

Aug 16,2005

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