Poem By Lez Madan

You have no idea
The first time I saw you
My adventurous ego seemed to have taken over
I wouldn't let go
Coz I know I was taking the risk
I don't care where this will go
I wouldn't use my mind that night
It all seemed to be so fun
Until those things happened
I was never sure, coz I wasn't thinking
But the moment I laid eyes on you
Told me something very differently

I always wondered what and how I went through
This clustered head of mine I forgot to use
Maybe my heart had a spark and went on fire
There was no control, especially on the dance floor
The night promised and gave me what I was looking for
But I didn't expect things to get complicated
We just met, same with our eyes and paths
Perhaps you weren't expecting in me
And I was just searching for something in you
And now it has come to this day

You have no idea how much I miss you
And I know you feel the same way
It's been a really horrible week
It wasn't your fault entirely
But you were at my mind most of the time
First second I wake up
First step I take in these little walks
First thought whenever I lay in bed
First sniff of your scent left in my damn pillow
The every gesture you made
The smile you tried just to please me
Just to right our wrongs

Nothing's ever so sure
We never made a promise anyway
We enjoyed it this way
Coz I guess it's your only way
And there's nothings else I'd want to say
Nothing more left in me
But this repressed feelings
And our passionate kisses
They don't seem to agree
You left me with nothing but to wish

These songs aren't enough to scream
What's crying inside me
What I really want, what I really feel
But every morning all I'm equipped with is uncertainty
There's no guarantee, never was
Or that's how I hope to be
Maybe I've had too much in mind
Maybe the drinks don't drown me enough
While you filled all the spaces in my head

You've taught me some things I'll never forget
Everything was my inevitable first
That unforgettable passion on fire
Or that touch that melts me every time
It was never easy, as much as I tried
And now you make me miss you badly
I couldn't give you all
But here I stand and offer you my tears
And this unending care
Coz tomorrow you might just let go of me
And I can not argue with what you truly desire
I'm not a part of your heart
But sometimes I wish to be

Almost losing the words I want to tell you
Midnight won't be enough
I'll sleep with another worry
That one day you could just go
And leave me waiting and hoping
Coz this is how you made me feel
And it all feels so stupid
But you should know how I feel
Coz I want you to know
It's never easy how much I suffer
While you wander somewhere else besides my side

And now all I'm asking
Is to hear the words I want to
Or those I've always been prepared for
Coz uncertainty hurts me and turns me upside down
They will just keep laughing on me
For being so poetic, theatrical and dramatic
But I want to know once and for all
What I should wake up for
The next time I see the sunrise

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