Fooled Me With Foundation
Poem By Clare McWilliams
Last night I went to bed with a beautiful girl,
The night before she'd put my head in a whirl.
Realised in the morning I'd stooped to an all time low,
When I woke up and half her face was on the pillow.
She had fooled me with foundation,
Lured me with lipstick.
Her face was a creation,
I felt an utter dipstick.
Felt bad about telling her last night
I wasn't quite right.
But I couldn't even turn round- she looked so shite.
Had I had that tenth aftershock?
I'd poisoned my brain- So was thinking with my cock.
She had seemed a pretty dolly,
How wrong could I be?
Pure drunken phallic folly,
How woe is me?
So watch what you pick up when out on the town.
Don't opt for the girl made up like a clown.
Maybe she looks like she stepped out of a mag.
But, believe me, in the morning
She'll be Helga the Hag