Outside, the sun is rising up once more
by Rita El Khoury
But she can’t find anything to wake up for,
Desperately lying on her little bed
Remembering every tear she has shed,
Trying to console her shattered heart
And reconcile her eyelids, driven apart,
Since last night, she’s like a poor bum
Falling apart and no sleep would come.
Missing the rain and missing the snow,
Missing the smile she was pride to show,
The sweet rumbling sound of thunder,
And the happiness she used to hide under,
Missing the unique smell of humidity,
And her very rare moments of stupidity,
Missing the night and hating the light
Missing him although it wasn’t so right.
Her one and only joy, her only ray
Is slowly drifting apart, day after day
She could attempt to smile or pray
But to get her life back, she has no way.
Couldn’t keep her sorrow at bay
Forth memories of what he used to say
Hunt and ruin her like a lethal decay:
Price of love that she can’t afford to pay.
Fell in love at first sight like in a movie
Thought it would be somehow groovy,
Believed the pain hadn’t to be found
Until her feet got back on the ground.
Then she felt the ache pushing her inside
To uncover the truth she ought to hide,
Her feeling was about to hurt and sear,
Then destroy her existence and career.
She saw his visage, asleep and awake
She saw him everywhere, real and fake,
She wrote his name with her vein’s blood
She adored him and swore to forget her god
Until the sun, of shining, gets tired.
He was everything she had ever desired
But the one thing she could never get
In her destiny, this truth was already set.
She had dropped tears as much as rain,
She had felt this passion like a hurricane
Tried to stop what was meant to maintain:
A huge love turning into devastating pain.
Seeking every memory, she became insane
His virile perfume attaching like a chain,
His eyes and huge smile loading her brain,
She tried to relive what is gone, in vain.
She never should have looked at him
His face was nothing but a cold rim,
Prohibited was he to her deficient soul
Although he was the one to make her whole.
She never should have worshiped him
He was far outside her possession’s rim
But on her heart, only he had knocked
After him, this gate shall remain locked.
Those tears were the last ones she’ll drop
Even if she knows the hurt will never stop,
Holding on the last memories to her own
She sees the night replaced by the dawn,
Maybe, also for her, it was a new start
Even if these feelings were hard to cart.
In the ocean of fire, she dared and dove
Now she can’t get rid of this forbidden love.
She finally urged the desire to leave
Then tried to make herself believe
Love was something she won’t find
Because it is simply a state of mind.