Fragilities (Example 1)

A work weary father smiles
waiting for a train-
kicking away coldness
with warm thoughts of love.
Split second later
side searing pain
skin separated by the cool,
indifferent, reflecting blade.
Blood flows and spills-
filling the cold concrete cracks.
His eyes resisting silent dark
view becoming confusing.
His two children kiss mother goodnight.

by Not Long Left

Comments (1)

Vince, while such acts of cold-blooded violence stopped shocking me several years ago, they never cease to disgust me. As if such heinous individuals don't realise just what far-reaching impact their actions are likely to have, a message that you condense so neatly into the finish here. Your succinct descriptions and metaphors here ('kicks away coldness with warm thoughts of love', 'the cool, indifferent, reflecting blade', [telling contrast between 'warm' and 'cool' also to be noted]) , are truly high-impact. Definitely a case of 'the less you write, the more you tell.' And I've just seen your very stimulating debate-sparker in the forum (and again, I love your expression: 'the fast-food of poetry') . If you want a response from me, visit Wendy Mooney's words. Mine would be the same. With warmth as ever, Gina.