PE (May 27 / Fort Polk, Louisiana)

Free As A Bird

Her anguished cry was so loud but not heard
She wished she was as free as a bird
It hurt, it hurt really bad
Yet for some reason she knew she shouldn’t be sad
Everything reminded her of him
So she went to see him on a whim
As to be expected
She was not accepted
She was not ok
The pain was here to stay

User Rating: 4,7 / 5 ( 3 votes ) 4

Comments (4)

I agree with Greenwolfe. The last line seemed to stumble a bit. Perhaps eliminating the 'was'... 'The pain, here to stay'? ? ? May help the flow, but aside from that. Just a well done, clear, concise piece.
They say that time is a great healer...but is it.....or is it really down to accepting what was...and to try and move on from it...It doesn't make you weak...if anything it makes us stronger in order to carry on.....tears will flow that's for sure if it leaves you hurting inside....but there's so much more out there for you to strive to.....stay strong and I hope your heart recovers filling your life with happiness. best wishes Jon.
im so sry for what that jerk did to u. but u have to be strong even if that means crying ur eyes out, but never take pity on ur self or let anyone see ur weaknesses. God is here for u and he let this happen 4 a reason. God has someone out there better than that jerk. and im here 4 u 2. whenever u need me. i mean it. stay strong and im praying 4 u.
This was written fairly well and it was no longer than necessary. These are good things in poetry. The focus and meaning were clear as well. Good stuff. I recommend this poem. GW62