From A Window (Revision)

Window presents a view:
variegated shades of verdancy
- loud yellow greens to deepest pine
& a thousand tones in between -
landscape's brilliance softened by grey skies.
Distant trees appear through milky film:
mother of pearl ground so thin
it's transparent...

Two birds fly East towards encroaching dusk.
Seeking dry branches, soar beneath
low hanging limbs, power lines
never pausing to light & roost.
Instead fly hurriedly, rushing
out of sight into sheltering depths of an ancient oak:
lichen covered bark wintry white
twisting branches bearded with Spanish moss.

Birds sense the coming storm
long before first lightning forks the sky
& thunder rolls through fields.
Other creatures scurry seeking shelter
as wind whips up & rain intensifies.
Soon enough storm peaks:
rain pelting along with hail
rattling on metal roofs bouncing
chaotic as nature's cleansing.

All this I observe from safe haven
deep within concrete, brick & steel;
& though winds are spinning, raving
my fortress walls are not caving;
& though convenient light might fail
it too will be restored:
grasses will be greener for the drenching
& air will feel so clean
it is holy to inhale.
Its taste: a sacrament on the tongue.

(Rev. Copyright 27 May 2006)

by Hugh Cobb

Comments (8)

Hugh, fantastically rich. You've got me thinking now about revision in general. Greg is right about the additional texture. Grand indeed.
As an advocate of the revision, (as is Wen) this new version is greatly improved via some added moxey. As you had stated, Hugh, the original was very much a prose type piece, which was all well and good, but you've managed to enhance the number with the laying on of more poetic textures. Good show, ole chap! Respectfully, Greg
Hugh this was an amazing poem, but also love the ease in this revision. The imagery delightful and soothing, a very spiritual effect in your description. A gift for your readers. :) ♥ Angie
I loved this the first time around, the nature and the poetry and finally the spirit, you might be a guru! !
Hugh this is a wonderfully descriptive write. I've noticed this about birds myself. Joyce
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