RE (September 1971 / Cincinnati, Ohio)

Getting Out Of Reverse

Sunshine smile
Hypnotic hips
There is no way I could get enough of your lips

Breathing you in
Drunk on your laughter
Letting the comfort of your touch soak into me
Absolving all my pain, my depression, my negativity
Seeing the real me and still loving me
That proves your crazy but I won’t fault you for it

That was then come back to now…….

Though it has been a few months
It’s still not real to me your gone
A life cut short
Somewhere the petals of a cherry blossom glide to the ground
A tangled collage of emotions I’ve become
An abstract tapestry of living for the past and finding where I now belong
Wounded and bloody
Doctors want to medicate me
Friends pacify but don’t get me
Wanting so bad just to hold you it hurts
The type of hurt that starts in the middle of your back and pulses through
Feeling as if your chest will explode
Sometimes for just a second I allow myself to wish it might
Refocusing myself I can’t allow my thoughts to consider it

I think Ian Curtis got it all wrong when he sang “Love Will Tear Us Apart”
Our love is the only thing supporting the weight of me
To rise to work
To live another day with only the absence of you to look forward to……you always said I was too sarcastic

The loss of you has been pure anguish
Resonating through me much like a breeze that causes the spider’s web to bounce about
A plaything to the whims of the wind
I think I could handle the homogenized\refined version of this despair
However that is not what’s on tap these days

As I listen to Brian Molko sing “Without You I’m Nothing”
The truth in the dark beauty of the song lays my soul bare
The cathartic tears rain down my face
Releasing me from my tailored made cell
With no bars of despair to hold me
I move on to somewhere anywhere but here

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Comments (1)

LOVELY! ! ! ! yup is so hard to get along with loneliness when someone has load you with so much happiness! ! ! ! but let time do its work, it can be painful but at the end the wound will close, the wound will be a memory to remember! !