I've spent too much time wanting you back,
I've forgotten what I live for.
Yet I'm still lost in the black,
And oddly the pain is more.
Everything seems to be the same.
I wonder if anything matters to you,
As I sit carving in my arm your name.
It doesnt feel right when you say 'I love you'.
We're back together again,
But we're not as I thought we would be.
I'm still not willing to let you in,
Or reveal to you the real me.
So I give you up now,
And realize you're not mine.
I still wonder why and how,
And stop trying to reach the divine.
Be a whore and enjoy your hoes,
But these tears arent for you.
And even if only I know,
I am giving up on you too.