I really dont know what to say. I thought i would just let my feelings pour and hope it helps me sort my thoughts.
Things arent the way i want them to be. I wish i was still at home. I miss it. Its so hard for me to adapt to new things. To everybody else it may look like im doing ok, but in reality, deep inside i feel like crying all the time. Sometimes, i just want a way out. A way to escape. I feel like when i go to sleep, i never want to have to wake up. && when the morning comes, my alarm clock sounds, and im sad i have to face another day. Why cant i live in my dreams, good bad or indifferent. Anything would be better than trying to smile all day long when my body wants to give up. I see this room, me in the middle, on the floor crying. Wishing time would stop and i didnt have to go on. But everyone walks around me, doesnt see me, doesnt stop to ask if im okay. Just this little girl, hurt and the pain never stops. I beg for it to be over, for it to be just a dream that i cant wake up from, in hopes one day this will be all in the past. but i cant seem to escape from my feelings. im trying so hard to forget it all.
gone. is the word that comes to mind. Everything i want and hope for, gone.