NK (1981 / Nakuru, Kenya)


I’m on a pendulum, swinging
I’m white, then black, but now am grey
I know you, I don’t know you
I am with you, lonely
I am alone, yearning your delicate scent

It’s grey all over
I’m hurt, I’m happy
Laughing, grieving
I feel wrenched
Sense has been yanked from me

I’m wondering;
Do I know you?
Do I know me?

I think I understand you
I know I don’t know you

I curse the day I saw you
I bless my first sight of you

I am the fish washed ashore- suffocating
A rabbit ensnared- resigned

My words are empty you say
My concern- insincere

I ought to jump in glee
I’m tousled, wasting away
The night’s long, the day short

I ought to write the happiest poem
But am writing the saddest
I ought to say for instance:
You laughed and I laughed too
I smiled, you smiled back
You sighed deeply; I heaved a sigh- sometimes

I try to reach out
You recoil- anxious
That’s why I am sad, you too are sad,
All the time

It’s grey
Do you know what you want?

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