Guilty?

I can't decide whether to feel
Dead or sad
There's not enough going on
{Too much gone}
I feel hollow
Like a ghost of a pained soul
reaching, yearning, for something to ease their suffering
{Looking for love in all the wrong (right?) places}
I can't see in my eyes
Invisible past the dreamless
{Preventative/Protective? }
Past the hard cynical cage closed in around
I don't know where to go
just to wander away again
constantly looking {never, ever finding}
Maybe it's not meant for me {no no no}
Maybe I'm destined to be {fate, future, fatal}
alone forever
Always aching {no remedy}
never being healed
Maybe there is a reason I am denied {guilty until proven innocent? }
And I don't know how to handle this {guilty as charged}
But I'm innocent,
I don't want to keep looking, waiting {searching for unknown missing persons}
I don't want
To never find it

by Lex Newman

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