Haiku-10 (Dusk)

The sun once gets blind,
And shelters behind the mountains,
With valleys of colored clouds.

by Saheb Mohapatra

Comments (7)

Nice imagery of setting sun, Liked it.
another point could be the 'kigo'.. There is not a true kigo in your write, but that is not a real problem.. also a tiny minority of japanese classical haiku don't express a kigo.. Your write is nice, but if you want to label it as ''HAIKU'' then you have to respect the haiku rules.. ;) Cheers
sorry, Saheb, but if you want to write a haiku, you need to respect the haiku structure.. from the syllabic point of view, your write doen't respect the 5-7-5 scheme. Then, you should enhance the contraposition between the 2 images of the world/nature/environment.. Let's say a 'oh! ' - a subtle wonder, before the beauty/mystery of nature.. You also could use a 'dash' as a kireji to separate the two different 'ideas' / images.. Blessings
............very nice poem with beautiful imagery ★
Beautiful haiku on dusk! A great attempt Saheb!
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