Happy Birthday To The Aviator

The Northern sun now slowly fades
and soon departs the Everglades.
'Look out', so shouts the Aviator,
'I clearly see an alligator! '

He had, through age and poor nutrition
been ill prepared for this bold mission.
They called him Captain, due to rank
but he had filled his fuel tank
with what was left inside the spa.
Though, luckily he skipped the bra
that floated there for some good reason,
it was, I guess, the swimming season.

And even though the man had filled
the hot tub with the best, distilled
and patented and potent grog
(he'd entered FULL into the log) ,
there was a touch of consternation
that brought about contamination.
Hence, even for a Kraut-built plane
there was no altitude to gain.

Thus, when the sun set in the West,
our pilot faced an awesome test,
he'd lost all power and was gliding
while frantic brain cells were deciding
but luck had hitched a ride that day:
He crashed with grace and seemed okay.

Now, anyone who's been to see
the Everglades would surely be
impressed with all exotic features
and even more so by its creatures.

The plane had fallen from a height,
it was a twin-seat ultralight,
and did not have a metal shell
and thus could not protect too well
its pilot or a foolish guest
from Florida's most fearsome pest.

A male of very large proportions
was going through some quick contortions
as it attempted to get in,
(he wore a very toothy grin) .

Now pilot and his female friend
were certain this would be the end.
All modern reptiles like their meat
and here were specimens to eat.

But God, who'd watched this frantic mission,
had charged the pilot's own clinician
with duties far beyond routine!
The pilot recently had seen
the man they call manipulator.
It saved him from the Alligator.

You, rightly, wonder how this could
and doubt a consultation would
have any influence as such.
But don't forget the magic touch,
which does convey to the gray matter
resourcefulness with which the latter
came up to save his sorry hide
and that of his -now frantic- bride.

He took the closest piece of silk
which covered vats designed for milk
but also graces more mature
and ample bosoms when on tour.

He waved the thing above the ripples
of swampy waters, and the nipples,
which had been re-enforced somewhat,
touched Alligator on the butt.
It, being foreign, scared him badly,
he turned, begann to swim quite madly
away from his nutritious fare
while spraying water in the air.

This proves beyond the slightest doubt,
those who consult the local Kraut
will be prepared for any foe.
I think the man has told him so.

by Herbert Nehrlich

Comments (1)

Once again a real splendid write from you Herbert. I love reading them they are cheeky and lighthearted which makes a lovely change from all the 'love' poems that appear here with great regularity. Excellent one. Thanks lots. Love and hugs Ernestine XXX