HC (12-21-1988 / Ada, Oklahoma)

Hopeless Addicts

I can see it in your eyes, theres something you must say.
It will be ok.
Please don't go away.
I want you to stay, but your moving so far away.
Maybe some other day, we can be ok.
Is that what you were gonna say?
You don't seem to know, how everyday I go.
Just a little bit further down this road.
Im not coming back, you''ll be dressed in black.
Long before you ever know, that everything you said it was all in your head.
You never needed to care about someone who wasn't even there. Don't get me wrong I really did care, life just wasn't fair, it was to much to bare.
I can't be there anymore.
I've given in to something pure.
Now begins the very end.
The days that never seem to end, I'll never ever hurt again.
For the rest of my days I'll be lost in a haze.
Line after line, takes me further away.
We'll never ever be ok, I'll never quit fading away....

User Rating: 3,0 / 5 ( 13 votes ) 2

Comments (2)

there are a few nice lines in here, but the rhyming is far to obvious and distracts the reader away from the subject matter, i would suggest you revise the poem, and edit it, choosing less subtle rhymes. Its a good piece to start with, yet with a little more care you could make it a great poem regards Vincent
Lovely piece to read