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How I Welcome My Dose Of Secondhand Smoke

How I welcome my dose of secondhand smoke,
Especially from the bloke who thinks it's fine
To smoke under a 'No Smoking' sign
In a shop or a pub or even on a bus.
Brand him if you must an ignorant cuss

But he does me a favour - he really does,
Since my goal must be to lessen my lifespan,
So I breathe in as deep as I uncomfortably can
Quite enough of a dose of secondhand smoke;
I inhale it so deep that I almost choke

As if I regard this as the best of exercise,
Determined, yes, resolved, to share in the demise
Of that bloke, that smoker, who thinks it's fine
To smoke under a 'No Smoking' sign -
How I welcome my dose of secondhand smoke!

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