TB (June 15,19- / Knoxville, TN)

How Like A Child I Still Believed

What happened?
My mind has become unfogged today, I see what I have been blind to all these years.
I wish I had seen all this falsehood when I was young enough to have made amends to some and walked away from others.
How like a child I was.

Now I am older and to many years have passed by and those that I need to talk with are gone now; And some are to old to remember.
I wish I had not found out that I was not wanted or cared for. But, then again maybe I am better off knowing now, so I don't continue to believe a lie.

Some people are continuely trying to gain love and prove themselves worthy of love... but, they can never get the approval, and it wears them down.
Some people never have to prove a thing.. they just know they are loved and wanted. With that knowledge they in turn show love to others.

Life can wear you down when you fight to gain that attention from one that does not seem to notice you, unless they want something from you, you take that as them noticing you for a few moments, but, it is all false.
You become the enemy over time according to this person when they discuss you with others, you think take you with your love open wide to them, but they don't believe you anymore, you have been raped of all you hold true by their mistrust of you now.

I know who and what I am, I will not let this person or any of these that have joined in; to harm me anymore. I have removed myself from their little Island and I now live very far away from them.
Oh what peace I have felt lately from not having them in my life continuely, it is so supprising.. at one time I would have told you I can not live without them.. Life is a miracle...smiles, I can live.
How like a child I was.

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