KNS (July 14,1965 / New York)

I Am Lost

I am lost in a world that is no longer mines, having a feeling of dismay, grief and not belonging.

Can you imagine? The upside down feeling that is in my heart.
Can you imagine? How heavy this world feels or how grief has overwhelmed my soul.

I am lost in this space, where I see the blue sky gray, the yellow in the sun is not so bright, and all I can think is what is out there beyond the stars and the midnight blue.

I am lost and don’t want to be found, I am all cried out and asking why, when there is no one that can answer my question, as my heart is yelling, “Where is my peace.”

I am looking for away out, but there is no where that I can go since you are not here with me.

I miss everything about you, your smile, your small hands, the things that you would say, at times when the kids are around me I even look over and ask you about them.

I wonder how you would play with them, if you would get mad at them or if you would be the big girl that you always have been, that is the time I feel lost without you.

I am lost in this world of confusing living in a maze of yesterday,

Praying for my soul today and knowing that tomorrow will never come.

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