I Break My Heart

I learned something about myself lately;
I am a heart breaker.
I hurt the people who are close to me far too much.
I don't deserve them.
I always have to mess up
the smallest things that make me happy.
It's like I am not destined to be happy
and I find it not fair to have people around me to be happy,
so I hurt them.
Strip them of their happiness.
I am horrible,
selfish, perhaps.
All the 'hurt' I received from them,
derived from the hurt I once gave them.
See, everything is my fault.
I bring this all to myself.

Throught all this realization,
I noticed something quite shocking.
No one has really ever broken my heart,
I break my own heart.

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