I Don'T Want To

My hands are cold
my face is hot
every sound chills my spine
my skin tingles at the slightest touch
my palms start to sweat
and then i cant take it anymore
i want to run away
and hide from you and your strange and twisted ways
as soon as i leave i begin to feel sick
and my blood runs like a poison through my veins
making every inch of me ache
with the hurt of knowing you're gone
I cry out the poison
I sob and it robs me of my strength
My muscles tighten with each new wave
and I shiver as they pass
I want to say I'm sorry
but know that its too late
I wish i could actually see you
instead of this picture that i have in my mind
but then i start to think
and hate myself for wanting to love you
and hate you for not loving me
i still need to love you...
and i shouldn't...
but i want to...
and it kills me...
but i do.

(May 24,2006)

by Brittany Quail

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