I'm Tired Mum

Poem By Zoe Vassallo

I'm tired mum…
I'm tired of being at school and doing the school work, I'm tired of being at home and doing my chores. I'm mentally, physically and emotionally tired Mum! I'm tired of trying too hard. Because I've done all I can to be better than I am and everyone is still telling me… I can do better. But I'm tired Mum… can't you see...? well no, obviously. Because if you saw me get the proper amount of sleep and wake up in the morning and still be tired throughout the day then you wouldn't say that you didn't care. If you saw how much I beat myself up because I'm scared that I won't finish year 12 then you wouldn't say that you didn't care. Yes, I know I have jobs around the house but this week has been tough and I can't get my head around… everything. I say I'm tired, and you say you don't care. Well that's good to know now I can go and be tired all I want, right? No, because you need me to do my chores as if that's the only thing that matters right now. Yes, I know I need to learn to be an adult. But you've been teaching me for years now I think I get it Mum! Now please just let me have a rest… the second I close my eyes I gotta get up again and go to school. Another tiring day… I force myself through the day barely making it… I get home and talk and laugh a little so you think I'm ok, then I go down to bed and nap til dinner time. I eat dinner whilst thinking about how tired I am… after dinner all I want to do is go back down to bed and try to sleep but Mum… you're yelling at me… repeatedly I tell you I'm too tired and repeatedly you tell me you don't care. But why don't you care… because you just don't. You want me to do my chores. Well I'm sorry… but I'm just too tired Mum… I'm sorry Mum. I'm sorry I'm not perfect like my little brother, the one that watches boxing and uses the moves to beat me up and basically gets away with it. I'm sorry I can't perfect like him… but he's not tired… no instead, he's smart. Top of his class. Bit of a smart arse. I'm sorry I've done wrong by you the way that I have… but I'm tired Mum. I know that's a stupid excuse. But it's the truth. I'm tired Mum. I'm tired and It's affecting me daily. I'm hurting Mum… you don't notice it but I'm hurting Mum. I'm hurting because I know I'm not good enough for you. I'm tired Mum… and it hurts to hear you say that you don't care… so I'll just get outta your hair…
Sincerely… your daughter…

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