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I. The Place For My Love-Only You

There is a path asleep I'll walk with you
Like the aisle, and through to an idle isle.
There's there a lake I'll love to share with you;
We'll drink and bathe, and make founts of our hearts,

Nest aloft, sequestered from tide and wave.
There are the winds I'll love to bring to blend;
Your breath and mine. And when well we are set,
Behind shades, shall we in soft whispers speak...

'Our heat glows, ' you'll say to me, '-never spent.'

User Rating: 4,9 / 5 ( 6 votes ) 8

Comments (8)

that was a good poem i loved it so much i can not stop reading it......u know how to write poems
A beautiful love poem. The imagery is almost perfect and you lead us through a dream gently and sensitively. You asked me for comment and you are clearly a accomplished poet already so you will not mind if I say that I believe you could tweak this just a little by cutting out some phrases. You have used the words 'I'll love to...' twice, perhaps to complete the metre? Possibly a more direct 'I shall..' would engage the reader more? Recently someone whose opinion I respect suggested that I use fewer adjectives and strangely, when I ironically deleted ALL the adjectives in the poem it strengthened it. I am not suggesting you do this, but sometimes less is more and this could be absolutely perfect I think, with some fine-tuning. I love the final line..
that was beautiful, very touching..i loved it..~hazel
this is very nice and very touchable poem...thanks John
The very stuff of romance, written with a talented pen. t x
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