I Think Daily Of Making Love To You
I think daily of making love to you
embracing, fingers wrapped in yours,
heart races at the thought of your smile
can’t believe I have been so long without
words rolling from your lips, laughter,
sense-of-humor, the way you ease
my tension with just a touch, word,
memory of the way you interact.
Wonder how I will feel
to find you in my sight
I imagine flooded by emotion, sadness.
I miss you everyday and I ache for it
to ease, then another bad day,
overwhelmed by feelings I deny myself,
Seems Thursdays are the worst for me
not sure why, but that is when I feel like
I am down hill stunned by the anticipation
of the avalanche, legs too heavy to carry me
any further from the crumble I am to be
buried beneath, in the cold, only to climb out again.
And for you to see me? I wonder how this
Impacts you, if you ever tear up at the loss of me
If you notice as often as I do the absence
of me in your life, my words, love, adoration.
I can’t say enough how much I miss you
But I feel the loss twenty times a day.
I try to pretend that it is superficial,
but it does not take much
reading over my words and thoughts
to realize that you are so much more.
I miss my favorite friend, the one
I do not have to hide with,
though I fear that like the others,
he only pretends to be accepting
or a little like me.
It would be easier if I could let my
Negative thinking take over, but
It is not strong enough.
Besides, you are everywhere.
Good night, I am going to bed
To imagine, pleasure to distract from
The emptiness, though with company
it usually replaces the vacancy with guilt.