I Want To Disappear

Poem By Crystal Chown

I hate my normal life in this world.
I don’t belong in this world.
I think I belong a world that would likes me for who I am.
Not this world.
People is so rude, and they don’t care about anyone expect for their self.
We only have are self in the end.
There is nothing expect for the cold dark place in hell.
There is nothing you can do about it.
Someday you will go to that dark place.

I will dead for mine sins.
Maybe someday I will dead for mine sins.
I should leave this world.
I love walk through a graveyard.
I wish I could just disappear from this dark place.
I don’t how to disappear like I said.
Without mine beautiful world there is nothing for me here…

Lay a razorblade near a black rose.
And I watch the blood hit the dead ground.
I put down a black rose near the tombstone now pray.
I wish all the bad people can go to hell.
This world is a dream, something that is in my mind.
I wish I can just wake up but can’t.
Why can’t wake up from this nightmare I am having.
I am saying to myself why me.
Why did god choose me?
Why was I born for what reason?
I wish I could just disappear from this dark cold place.
I can hear the wolves crying at the moon.

I can feel the pain from night before.
The pain is non thinkable.
When I try to think about the pain it got lost in my mind.
My whole arm plus my wrist is so weak.
The pain is very painful today I cannot feel anything.
Why do I feel this way?
I can still hear the wolves crying.
Sometime when I hear the crying of wolves I sometime cry with them.
Please god something as come over me, and now I need your help with this.
A Disease I have now, and this disease will take my life.
I would like to disappear from this dark cold place.
This disease poison’s my mind, and I can’t escape from this disease.
It will take over me.
Please help me god I know you are there.
Please answer me this is the time that I need you.

All I can see is death.
No life no death just a very painful death.
Now I crying while I am pray to god.
So now my tear turn to blood.
God can’t help me now.
I curse to death to have this disease in my blood.
A world without me will fall into darkness.
This world is terrible now.
I hate be in this world.
Why I am alone, disappearing.
Why god, or is there some else there right now.
Can they hear my cries?
I need someone to hear now.
Because I am dying and I need your power to make me young.
Please help me.

I would like to disappear from this dark cold place.
I feel so alone now there is nobody for me in this dark cold place in my mind.
There is nothing here for me.
Nothing seeps for my own company with me.
I love be alone, there is nobody is this dark cold place.
I feel safe in this dark cold place.
I can feel my end is coming soon.
However, when is it got be the end of me?
Please kill me I don’t want to be in this place no more.
I am sorry god I failed you can you forgiven me please.
I don’t want to be in this dark cold place please help me.

This is the end for me.

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