I Wish You Were Here!

What a time I am having! I wish you were here! Well, not really… I mean yes, it would be nice to have the companionship, but only when I could stand it.
Otherwise, I think it would just stand to make me even more self-concious.
I have a desire to be buried in the ground under dirt, like a vampire (I am not unlike the undead.)
I think it would be sweet solitude. No ringing, no sirens, no talking, no asking. I think it would give me time to process the experiences I have had.
How strange, it seems I have desired to be able to feel and be in the moment for so long, and now that I am having these very strong feelings I don’t want them, I can’t stand them, I am not sure I can survive them.
I go to the gym where I pretend to be normal and everyone is nice enough to me. But I suspect they understand they are part of a deception and play along because they know the interaction will only last a few moments.
Then off to work, though today I did not go. I was home today drifting in and out of sleep, escaping into movies that I love how nice it is there.
How silly I was just thinking how I wish I could live there, I would fit in there… How like me, there doesn’t exsist. How sad for me.
Seemingly stuck here where I am doomed to never fit, to never understand and to never be understood.
An alien alone, observing rituals walking the path these humans prize called life.
Observing.

I don’t want to be here anymore.
When I sleep, at least I can walk among the dreams of my people even if somewhere deep I still know it is a dream.
At least it is mine and familiar. Even the nightmares are far better than my waking reality.

by Joseph Camphouse

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