I Wont Punish Myself Anymore

I Won’t Punish Myself Any More
I Sit Staring At Nothing
Froze To The Spot By An
Unexplainable Feeling Of Gloom

I Take In The Chaos Around Me
Clothes To Iron, Dishes to Clean
I Want To Do Them But There
Is An Invisible Weight Pinning
Me Down Where I Sit

I’m Drowning In A Pool Of Emptiness
A Voice In My Head Screams
“Just Get Up And Do Something”

I Feel Lazy, I Want To Punish Myself
I Raise The Heels Of My Hands
Ready To Pound Them Against
The Temples Of My Head

Suddenly, With Tear Rolling
Down My Cheeks, I Get The
Inner Strength To Lower my Hands

I Realise That By Hurting Myself
I’m Hurting Those Who Love Me
So I Lock The Door To Self Harm

I Still Live In The Dark Lands
Of Depression But My Family
Are My Light At The End Of The Tunnel

If They Can Love Me Then I Should
Love Myself So I Throw Away The Key
And I Won’t Punish Myself Anymore

by toni dee

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