I Wrote Too Much


I wrote too much
I did not correct enough
I published too much
I did not promote my work at all

I listened to my own voice
I should have asked for help and guidance

I went on for years in silence
Waiting to be discovered

When my first works were published
I was surprised
At how little they meant
And to so few

I learned with the years
That I was not as good
As I had dreamed to be

I wrote on
As if this were the only important thing

Slowly I came to see
That the lack of enthusiasm
Was evidence of my not being good enough

I tried new ways
When the old did not work
But no style or work or idea of mine
Was good enough

I go on still writing
But it will all come in the end to nothing

I tried
I was not good enough
I made many mistakes
Had I not made the mistakes
I probably still would have failed

God gives it to us
Or God does not give it to us

I was not given it-

Still I thank God
That I spend my life
Writing it away.

by Shalom Freedman

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