If I Could I Would
I want to scream,
by Stuart Doggett
To take up that pole and watch the fragments tumble to the floor in slow motion like a shower of icicles.
I want to push,
To bend metal round shapes that I’m holding.
I want to hit,
To take what I’ve learnt and break her
And lock away that smile.
I want to look,
To watch images I held so dear curl and blacken in my hand.
I want to talk,
To chop up my heart so that as many people as possible can taste my poison.
I want to be,
To stand on top of a skyscraper at night and feel the wind push me.
I want to emerge,
To put down the mask I see myself wearing and show what I hate inside.
I want to fly,
To escape and enter the purity of mind of a god.
But I can't.
Instead I smash thoughts in my head,
Glittering shards show,
Filtered calm through sorrowful eyes
And tears growing.