If Old Church Ladies

If old church ladies were given Charge over the universe
I can see a few problems that would develop
Almost immediately; envision myriad plastic tubs
Filled up with meteors and asteroids,
To prevent any danger to any possibly living creatures
On the manifold worlds included in this cosmos.
And Supernovas not allowed to explode,
Filed safely under 'S', until such time and place
As a safe implosion could be accomplished
Without risk to nearby planets or neutron stars.
Black holes orbiting suns would be reprimanded
For their greedy lack of mealtime manners,
And planets possessing multiple suns
Should have to apportion evenly, the hours of dusk and dawn-
Even if it entailed changing the approximate distance
Of the suns in question, from the neighborhood planets.
In the end, I think it would become quite clear
Leaving it to chance was after all, the best solution.

by Patti Masterman

Comments (1)

This is delightful! I actually laughed as I read this - images of Eunice and Deidre in their sensible shoes sweeping up that pesky asteroid belt that does make the place s-oo untidy at times! Giving comets a ticking off for running in the solar system...