Imagining Someone’s Life Without A Mother

It is like a tolling of the bells
this morning.
It is almost dawn but still dark
I am awake, but away in
my own head.
I think about you, and
wonder if I should ask
if you miss her.
I am working,
silent in the particle darkness
I watch my own mother
sleeping on the sofa.
Often times I have felt
so much hate for her
for so much pain she brings
for so many stupid moves.
But seeing her sleeping there
I realize how much I love her,
my blessing, my mother.
There are so many of my friends
who feel the same
one, whose mother verbally abuses her
one, whose mother abandons her
one, whose mother only feeds her own addictions
and you whose mother casts herself away
from you as though you do not exist.
She sleeps, and I feel so lucky.
She sleeps and I actually miss her
I miss her while she sleeps
and I wonder If I should ask
you if you miss her.
I know you do

by Pam Morris

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