Imprisonment

Feel captivities firm grip smother out the fun,
The stretch of its reach felt with each pass of the sun;

Metal doors slam shut, rumbling their echos down the hall,
Now come jail bar shadows to lurk upon the night wall;

There would come death to silence but for the jailers' keys,
To rattle the quiet where freedom none sees;

Moment by moment goes time so deep to know,
Where the inuring gloom of imprisonment, time creeps so very slow...

by Tony Avila Sampson

Comments (5)

Very good poem, well done! congrats on getting poem of the day!
This is a much better poem than the other two poems of the day. I would suggest a couple of changes to make it even better. In line three, what does the pronoun ITS refer to? Does it refer to the METAL DOORS? If so, change the door to singular or the pronoun to plural like this: (The) Metal DOOR SLAMS shut, rumbling its echo... or Metal doors slam shut, rumbling THEIR ECHOS... In line six, I'm quite sure you meant QUIET instead of QUITE. And did you really mean to end the poem with a semicolon, or is there a line or two missing at the end? Well done, and congratulations!
this is fantastic poem...congrats...high 5
this is fantastic poem...congrats...
where freedom none sees.....A nice imagination and the poem also.