In The Shower.

(Translucence)

((pitterpatter))

(wat)
(er)

(f)
(al)
(ling)

(cheap diamonds,
they don’t cost
a thing.)

(fake, they are.
shattering when they
touch
the
ground.)

(thoughts)

(emptied from
the
mind)

(f)
(al)
(ling)

(and pooling

at my feet.)

User Rating: 4,5 / 5 ( 1 votes ) 2

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Comments (2)

Personally, i think the brackets do matter. to me, the brackets are like, they wrap up the words, so it's like, the words are enclosed in a water droplet. But that's probably just MY feeling. anyway, great poem.
Good poem. I think it would read better without the brackets. the comparison of cheap diamonds to your thoughts, reminds me how bloody annoying it is taking the note pad in the shower! lol Nice work, Perfection is flawed is true and a good pen name too. Tai