SM ( / )

Invisible Man

feels like someone is touching my skin
someone who knows this piece of mess
he's there when I cry, when I sin
he's there to hear me confess

he keeps the knife from my troth away
softly guiding my body
but never tells me which is the right way
cause finding that is up to me

when I fall he carries me
no matter how hard times get
when I think happy I'll never be
he makes sure I don't forget
it's not forever
happy times just come and gow
never say never
cause you never know...

when I'm afraid, it seems like his hiding
like I'm all alone
but I guess, I'll have to be fighting
to get those fears gone

but when I fall out
he puts me back on rail
neverminds when I shout
covers me when I fail


so good to know
that whereever I gow
someone's with me
gives me safety
thanks for holding my heart
being my guard
help me when I feel blue
so thank you


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Comments (1)

Silke, I love the idea of this, it is quite unique and invetive. I think you have ruined it a bit by forcing rhymes. By that I mean that you have manipulated some line (the words) in order to make the rhyme fit. There is really no need. Poets of bygone eras used to do that (look at some of George Herbert's poems for example) but that was a result of a limited vocabulary. Today's language is far richer so there is no need for that type of manufacturing. Some might suggest that you try writing in free-verse, but unless you can master rhyme (and there is nothing wrong with rhyme, it is a great form when used well) then you cannot achieve the discipline of writing. I was well nigh intrigued by this piece and I can certainly see where you are going.