It Is Forbidden

Although adultery’s forbidden in
the Ten Commandments, look up number seven,
there are a lot of other ways to sin
that take a man to hell while he seeks heaven.

Ham had intercourse with Father Noah,
sodomy and incest simultaneous,
while Onan on the ground became a sower
of seed, a sin that God considered heinous.

Abraham lay with his wife, his sister,
and Jacob with two sisters had his way;
when David saw Uriah’s wife he kissed her
to prove to Jonathan he wasn’t gay.

While Judah lay with his sons’ wife, Tamar,
Lot’s daughters lay together with their father;
some aren’t appalled by things like these, some are,
but all agree that they are risky, rather.

It seems that Dinah did it with a donkey
although it is forbidden in the Torah,
and Miriam and Aaron thought Zipporah
should be condemned because she screwed a honky.

Reuben did it with a wife his father
had taken to join Rachel in his bed;
because of this his father said he’d rather
make Joseph of his brothers the new head.

Rahab loved to do it with two spies,
and tumbled on them like the city walls
that fell when it was captured––no surprise
her house survived the blitz just like St. Paul’s.

With tent pole Sisera became rudely reamed
by Jael after she had screwed him royally,
but Abigail, more complaisant, once schemed
to please a king anointed and quite oily.

Samson loved to do it with Delilah,
Ahasuerus killed Queen Vashti when she wouldn’t;
according to the biblical compiler,
Queen Esther never said to him: “You shouldn’t.”

King David did it with a married lady,
Uriah’s wife, and killed her feckless spouse;
one son was killed because a tree was shady,
but Solomon survived to build God’s house.

A lot of ways to sin exist, and many
by bible heroes were performed, we read;
in fact it seems to me that hardly any
avoided sins when they perceived the need,
which makes them people to whom we all can
relate to far more easily than Jesus.
Composed not for the Lord but common man,
the Hebrew Bible pleases, as it teases.


by gershon hepner

Comments (2)

How can you joke about these things Gersh? They're REVOLTING! ! ! !
Well! This one is really loaded, Gershon. I'm fascinated that you can list so many 'forbiddens' and keep your rhyme. I believe this one is rated X, even though it is biblical. (Who said the bible is not very interesting?) Raynette