It Is Odd

It is odd how I can smile
and no one will notice
that I have for awhile
fighting off loneliness

I doubt and doubt and doubt
everything I do
I cannot go without
this harmful point of view

Why am I not good enough
Why don’t I believe I can
Why am I so tough
on this person that I am

I have friends that believe in me
They seem so sure to know
that I can be whatever I want to be
But my conviction of me I can’t let go

Why do I feel this way
How come I can’t permit
a good word, a romance, a nice day
why can’t I just stop it, stop it, stop it!

It is odd, yes it is very odd
that one can be so critical of oneself
I forget that I am created by God
But I still have trouble accepting myself

I am all grown up,
this should have been over by now…

by A. V. Asreg

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