AR (6/16/88 / Denver)

It Was Bound To Happen Eventually

I remember when there was never a quiet moment in my head. I remember how much I hated that I could never turn it off. Funny to think that I miss it, even if the only reason I miss it was because that, for me, was normalcy.
I tried to think about a certain word the other day. I thought about it for too long. It hurt my brain. I remembered when I used to get so confused by the joke: don't think too hard, you'll hurt yourself (or some like variation) .
I remember a time where my mind was 100% and my memory immaculate. That was during the same period where I wouldn't lose things and I was constantly doing something. It's weird to think of myself as capable of relaxing. It's even weirder to think I no longer worry about...well, anything. I used to have ambition and drive, even if I was going on what everyone considered the wrong path. I couldn't lay around in bed and realize that its okay because there isn't anything more important to do anyway.
But that was all during a time you were alive. When you died, so did I. Now I'm simply a shell going through the motions I've been programmed to make. All of these things hit me the other day when I realized, everything I thought made me special is gone, and now... I'm just like everybody else.

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Comments (1)

Sad and cathartic. First, we let ourselves be...empty, and then we become what we will be after. Don