Jesus Is A Celtic Man

Jesus came down from heaven, onto the Gallowgate,
2 hours before an Old Firm game, now that's what I call fate,
He jumped into the Barras, to buy a big duffle coat,
With a terrible thirst, gnawing at his throat.

He heard angels sing, within Bairds Bar,
So he jumped in for a Guinness, smoke a Woodbine fag,
Legends of Celtic, adorned the walls,
And a picture of himself, that stood 4ft tall.

In this little legendary Glasgow pub,
A proud supporter of Celtic Football Club,
Jesus raised his pint, to anxious looks,
And said, from his heart, 'C'Mon the Hoops'.

Parkhead is considered, the Celtic fans shrine,
As Jesus walked forward, his hand on his wine,
He would stop to talk to dogs, that roamed the street,
And ask them if they had any tips for Ashfield, next week.

He joined the crowds, surging to the ground,
Singing ballads of Ireland’s sons,
Into the stadium, he took to his seat,
Buying a programme, 'Big Jock Stein wants to see the team sheet'.

Both teams ran onto the field, greeted by the fans,
Jesus saw the ghost of Pearce, Connolly and Sands,
Standing dressed in Celtic’s green & white,
Heroes of a nation, that never gave up the fight.

Parkhead, Paradise, was a beehive of noise,
Songs for the Rangers, songs for Martin O'Neill's bhoys,
But the sons of Celtic, their songs were an explosion,
When the ball hit the back of the net, by big John Hartson.

Stein and Thompson, Doyle and Quinn,
Celebrated together, as they stood watching from heaven,
The players surrounded, our heroic Welshman,
Who had the strength to tackle a fire-breathing dragon.

The angels in heaven, danced around Willie Maley
As he sat with Brother Walfrid, having a Baileys,
They both raised a cheer to Celtic’s good name,
And praised to God, for O’Neill being an Irishman.

When the game was finished, and the 3 points were in the bag,
Jesus took a stroll down to the Gorbals, for a drink at the Brazen Head,
Where the celebrations and dancing were in full swing,
And after a few more pints, he was determined to sing.

The crowd in the bar, faithful Celtic supporters,
Listen to Jesus belt out, Faith of Our Fathers,
He was carried of the stage, high on victory,
Promising one day to return with Patsy Gallagher & McGrory.

Before he left the Brazen Head, the fans & Jesus, copied the Huddle,
That brought traffic to a stand still, in the Gorbals,
He would be back one day and stand within Parkhead’s gates
As he ascended to heaven, with a Celtic scarf, around his neck.

Nov'5th 2003

by Daniel McDonagh

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