Just when it started getting easier
by Beth Kellar
Just when the pain eased
As soon as I become happy
This bullet to my heart, it breaks all over again
Thoughts of you return
Memories of us
Days I put away in a box
Years I left lying, hidden away
Hours, minutes, seconds of you came rushing back
Bursting through my door
My body aches from the pain I threw away
I washed away.
Why is it never gone?
I have everywhere to go but only you to bring
I’ve lost my way before and never thought I’d be in this place again
I’ve kept myself hidden from those around like you taught
Never letting them read my face nor my thoughts
But now I fear they know
With my eyes swollen red from your tears
My skin pale as snow, my body weak and fragile
Why do you return?
To haunt me, keep me, at least lead me
You were always there to tell me but now I guess
Where would you like me to go next?
Who should I be, for you?
I would be anything just to have you next to me.
I would go anywhere just to be with you.
To see you, meet you again
Your warmth, your strengths, your knowledge
Everything about you makes me miss you.
Even your flaws, your mistakes, your fears
I need to stop this analyzing, thinking, wondering
Your gone, I should let you go.
Move on, please let me.
But still, I live for you
I know it’s wrong, I should let go
I need to let go, I fear holding on to you for to long
But even more I fear letting you go for good.
I just want to say goodbye, once again.