Just Thinking

All has been forgotten.
Why does everything hurt so much?
I know I am destine to be alone, and
the longer the days are,
the more hurt there is in this life.

I am a warrior wandering this world.
My past life's must have been hard,
because off all the pain I have had in this one...

The waves have thrown me into a spin again,
that I just cannot control.
I feel lost for the first time, and
I am not willing to go back to the way I was.

This three fold stuff is a reality.

Every time I have been comfortable,
life comes crashing down upon me.

Do not worry
because if I wasn't strong enough,
it would not have happen.
Somehow, I am being looked out for, and
I have learned just to be who I am.
No one can ever take that away from me.

I have had some of the highest of highs...

I have two beautiful angles, my daughters,
That make everything worth it.
They can make everything better for me,
just because they love me so much.
It is the way they are for me
that makes every one see,
I will survive.

And now, I also have a little man, my son,
Who I am going to love just as much as anything
I have had in my entire life...

He was given to me by a ray of light.
She was so beautiful and caring.
I believed she has a bigger heart then I had.

It was a magical time in my life,
memories that will never be taken from me.

My heart will bleed forever
because I did let someone in...

And now she is gone.

But the beauty of it is,
I do not regret one moment of it, and
never will.

Now I can tell you about my little man, my son.
He smiles like his mother.
And at such a young age
he has to deal with a lot of problems.

Challenging everyone that gets in his way.

He will be the biggest warrior, and
will not let anything stop him
from doing whatever he believes he can.

I have a big job ahead of me.

I will guide him as best I can,
He will make some mistakes
but I will always be there for him.

No matter how much pain there is for me
I shall never let him see it in my eyes.

Within those beautiful blue eyes of my son's
anyone can get lost, and
I can see the little devil (that I had once in me) in his eyes.

I use to think I had magic in my eyes
but he has more magic in his eyes
then I have ever had.
I will say that comes from his mother,
for I would get lost in her sparkling eyes.

I will always love my children more then life itself, and
No matter how down I get,
I know they will make me better.
Life is always going to be a struggle for me
but I will do whatever is best
trying to be a good role model for my children
and anyone who needs my help.

Just thinking...Love is really always around you even in the darkest of times... Just look for it, then it shall get better...

Thanks for reading.

by Michael McCarron

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