Knowing This Admission

I alone had to face my dysfunctions.
And to see them for what they were.
I was not going to live all of my life...
Pretending my experiences,
Did not rip my heart apart or hurt.

I began to express my emotions,
With a knowing of this admission...
Came from an inner strength,
And not a submission to weakness.
I would condense to convince,
Myself.

I could not hold my head up high,
If I kept my sorrows gone denied.

I alone had to face my dysfunctions.
And to see them for what they were.
I was not going to live all of my life...
Pretending my experiences,
Did not rip my heart apart or hurt.

I have healed from several illnesses,
None of which I needed to embrace.
I forced myself to analyze by looking inside...
To replace a charade,
That grew tired of masquerade.

I alone had to face my dysfunctions...
With a forgiveness I wanted to admit.
I did not want to live my life,
Condoning unhappiness.

I could not hold my head up high,
If I kept my sorrows gone denied.

And this,
After getting over it...
Has allowed me to increase,
My identity with a peace released!
And not an approval have I sought to seek,
From anyone who has yet to do what I have done!

by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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