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Poems
Lament For The Death Of My Muse
JJM (December 1983 / Los Angeles, CA)

Lament For The Death Of My Muse

Poem By J. James Martinez

I

I held you like a five year old holds his new toy
Gave you all the small trinkets I had to offer
I adored you
Like a little girl
Does her mother

Unpretentious
Unwavering

I allowed you to dwell
In the poor grounds
Of my tissue and entrails
As you prepared to set sail
Away from yesterday
As far fathomable from the cemetery
Ever so necessary
I let you dwell
Here with me
In the diseased displeasure of Hollywood

I wrote you
Shiny and new
Gold
Not brown or blue
Flawed gorgeous and true

Running around
Devouring towns
(Wolves moves like beautiful hunters
Elegant beasts of teeth and instinct
Graceful
Calmly stalking their sheep
Licking their snout
Anticipating blood
Spilling life on Mother’s dress)

II

Shattered mindset
Scattered
Evaporated want and need
My onion queen
Bringing me to a salty sob

She left me in an
Uncomfortable sleep state of mind
Tossing and turning
Searching for the cool side

Silent
Still
In the ever growing warmth of summer

Occupied
Hypnotized
In the whirlwind she’d become

Love lost
Is a
Lesson
Learned
A brutal stabbing
A ripping
A snipping of strings which held

The sad silk I have
Is for you
To
Be held
Encased
Enshrined in the back of my mind
With a similar kind
From a shared time
Side by side
Again
Black you and black him

III

Here
This is the finale
The conclusion
My denouncement
The acceptance of my mistakes

All the time spent
And ink spilt
All the minutes directed towards
All the sleep shoved aside
All the effort exuded…
Now belongs to me
Now bound
And compiled

And the foundation of loose-leafs
Fear and false trust
Isolation
Acceptance
Expression and
Rekindled fixation
Lie in ruins

©J. James Martinez

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