Letter: For Your Eyes Only
You can't imagine how much I miss you, the sound of your voice, the softness of your lips. All these things torment me you know? Not a big surprise since you already knew I'm a haunted soul. I think about you often, and somehow I think if I were to allow every single one of my thoughts, of every enduring or passing moment be consumed by you, it still wouldn't be enough.
by Amberlee Carter
I love that the magnificence of you lingers with me always, in everything I do.
I think it's beautiful that the more I ponder you, the more I learn about my own existence, and the more I unravel of my fragile self, the more parts of me long to know everything there is to know about you. As if by knowing, and learning and understanding you, might somehow lead me to the answers of my being.
I won't pretend it doesn't break my heart when I can't hear from you for days, but the knowledge that there you are, in a world so far removed from my life, is enough...enough except on nights like this when I feel myself slipping through the cracks of this solitary reality, into a silent abyss..and after I wake from my endless meditation on a seamless, white wall, I hear nothing, nothing until the semblance of darkness shifts and visions from the past flood my mind until I become exhausted with mourning. Then it happens, at first it frightens me because I've gone so long without recognizing or admitting it even exists, it's unfamiliar and though it takes only seconds to decode its message, it seems like it must of traveled over heavens and earth ages, lived a thousand stories of moon-struck lovers before this very verge, in order to be perfected for this moment when I hear it as though hearing it for the first time..my heart beating out the words my lips so long to speak to you...come back to me.
With everything that is within me, every ounce of that which is best described without definition...I'm yours, even if unrequitedly so.