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Poems
Limericks
AL ( / Wollongong, Australia)

Limericks

There was an old man from Alabama
Who spent 55 years in the slammer
His prison was of a kind
That he created in his mind
The prison of addiction, it's really a whammer

There was a young lady from Dublin
Who had a question her mind it was troublin'
Are there some perks
Or any kind of lurks
In smoking, the answer: There's nuffin'

There was a young lady from Gloucester
Who took up smoking
But it cost her
An arm and a leg and a pain in the head
That foolish young lady from Gloucester

There was a young man from wherever
Who took up smoking to be clever
He thought he could quit
When he grew tired of it
But looks like he'll be smoking forever

There was a young girl from Warilla
Who wanted to do something which thrilled 'er
So she lit up a smoke, but started to choke
So she persisted
But then it killed 'er

There was a young lady from London
Who didn't want to end up in a dungeon
So she never lit up a fag
Never took even one drag
And now her lungs very well they do function

There was a young man from New York
Who ate cigarettes up with a fork
You may say how absurd
He may as well eat up turds
But he thought they tasted as nice as roast pork

There was a young man from Crow's Nest
Who listened to others as to what was best
They told him to smoke
So he did, poor bloke
Now he must continue without any rest

There was an old man from Land's End
Who frequently coughed up phlegm
They asked him as to why
And this was his reply
I smoke, have you got me one I could lend

There once was a lady from Hertfordshire
Who didn't think it was at all queer
To inhale noxious fumes
Could not see the doom
Now she's dead and buried, I fear

There once was a man from Shellharbour
Who decided to to visit his barber
His barber told him with disdain
You smell like a leaky old drain
Your not smoking is something I'd rather

There was a young man with great lungs
Whose health good fortune had brung
But he made a mistake
Started smoking, at eight
Now to the oxygen tube he has clung

There was a company called Benson & Hedges
Who desired a high profit in all of their ledgers
So they sold in packets of gold
A poison which killed, they were so cold
Those people of Benson & Hedges

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