Poem Hunter
Poems
Looking Through My Black-Framed Window (At My Neighbours Greener Grass)
LM (02/09/81 / Australia)

Looking Through My Black-Framed Window (At My Neighbours Greener Grass)

Poem By Liz Munro

Looking through my black-framed window,
at my neighbours bigger house,
would be swell living in that bubble,
never have they, had any troubles,
the perfect wife with perfect spouse.

Looking through my black-framed window,
at my neighbours better car,
shiny tyres, brand-new and black,
Living there would be better by far.

Looking through my black-framed window,
at my neighbours greener grass,
would i live there - no thankyou,
they can keep their facade,
I live life without the mask.

04/11/05.

User Rating: 5 / 5 ( 0 votes ) 2

Comments (2)

i've deceided not to enter this poem into the poetry imagery comp. i still like it though. liz.
It's a good poem, Liz, and it sums up the 'greener man's grass' aphorism very well by putting the reader there looking at the 'green grass'. It also sums up the 'must keep up with the Joneses' ethic too. However, I think the judges of the competition are looking for strong images and that means using things like metaphor, onomatopoeia, and personification etc. to create vivid and probably startling images in the reader’s mind. I think your poem “My heart's missing Link (you replaced) ” is a good example of a well-constructed nautical metaphor that is developed beautifully and is vivid without being overstated and would probably be better in a competition of this type. If you’re going to use Looking through…” in this competition, I think you need to strengthen the window and the mask imagery.


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