Lying To Me, Maybe Myself

just look at me
yes those are tears running down my face
broken inside
i am not fine, not this time
promises never kept
always telling me one thing
constantly doing the other
you seem like you would be okay
grab me tight in that soft embrace
then you let go
off again to another
forgetting that i was even here
letting me continue believing i am loved
filling me with hope
all thats left is doubt
no i am not fine
this was never what i wanted
slowly it kills me to have to say goodbye
wanting to just pick up and walk away
hearing you whisper my name
it draws me back in
looking into your lonely sad eyes
never wanting to give you any pain
unable to just put it to rest
allowing everything to circle around again
you pull me in, push me away
give me hope and crush my soul
i want to believe that your intentions are true
maybe im wrong
not wanting to confront any of these things
continuing to be forgotten until you need me again
allowing the tears to dry to my face
moving on with the notion that it will turn out okay
deep down however i'm losing control
not sure how much more i can withstand
maybe for now i will just pretend it doesnt bother me
just to keep you near
losing you is not something i am ready for
again the tears run down my face

by michelle dodd

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